Some transitiony thoughts

So I did eventually get some new clothes and am quite happy now that I have some decent threads to wear to school. Also, my mom was looking to clean out her closet so I took a few tops off her hands, but they’re mostly spring things and not so much for winter wear. (Although, seeing as how it was 68 just a few days ago, I’m not sure we’re actually going to have a winter this year.)

In other news, I was doing some deep thinking and self-examination last night and came up with a belated New Year’s resolution, beyond just quitting smoking. You see, historically speaking, I’m really not that great of a person. I try to respect others and be nice and everything, but really I end up hating about 80% of everyone I meet and although they don’t seem to realize it, usually when I interact with the obnoxious types I’m thinking really nasty thoughts about them. Furthermore, I have a tendency to only keep friends for a few years before getting bored with my social circle and purging, usually burning all my bridges in the process. I’m not quite sure why I do this; I only really have three friends whom I’ve known for more than three years, and one of them I barely speak to any more. I’m not the most sociable of people and generally like to spend a lot of time by myself (I haven’t actually gone out on a Friday night in over six months; I prefer to sit at home in the pitch-blackness watching horror movies by myself). I do enjoy interacting with others from time to time, but I usually get my fill in school or by going shopping or suchlike.

Anyway, this has been starting to change now that I’ve begun my transition. I find myself wanting to go out more and make more friends and such. I’m not quite sure what the dil is, but I assume that it has something to do with the fact that I was not comfortable with who I was beforehand. So, as to the New Year’s resolution: I’m resolving to try to be more sociable and not such a hermity homebody. I’ve joined my school’s chapter of Amnesty International and started a skeptics’ organization on campus, plus I think I’ll see if there’s some sort of queer students’ organization that I can get in on. Maybe between all of that and regular classes I’ll be able to meet some new people and actually form lasting bonds for once.

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