Estradiol: For when you’re not moody enough already

So last week I had my estradiol dosage jacked up and the big results so far are that I’m currently watching my free copy of He’s Just Not That Into You on Vudu… and enjoying it.

So seriously, as a feminist I’ve always tried to resist the stereotype of women being moody and emotional and everything, but ever since starting hormones I’ve felt like an emotional nutcase, and it’s just been crazy this past week. One second I’m all lovey and affectionate and everything, the next I’m catty and bitchy, and then next thing I know I’m curled up under my giant quilt scrounging through online video services on my PS3 looking for romantic comedies. I think I’ve only seen, like, 4 romantic comedies in the past 10 years, and all of those were because my girlfriend dragged me to them and made me promise not to make fun of them under pain of no sex. I watch horror, sci-fi, fantasy, and, when I need  good cry, kid’s movies. (I always cry at the end of kid’s movies, hormonal or not.) I do not watch romcoms, or comedies of any kind, for that matter. However, pretty much everything I’ve watched in the past week has been a comedy of some sort. I’ve also taken to laughing like a maniac at them, which is something I usually don’t do. Usually when I laugh during a movie, it’s because of how bad it is.

Anyway, while I’m enjoying the mini-boobs and the fact that my ass has finally joined the rest of my body in the third dimension, I could really do without the moodiness. Also the having to pee 50 times a day. I’m not saying that I regret anything, it’s just that years of training in feminist philosophy have not prepared me well enough to know what to do or how to think when I find myself identifying with Drew Barrymore. Dudes, next time your lady is acting all moody and weird, cut her a break. Your hormones make you hit things and want to fuck everything you see, which is really a lot simpler than experiencing the whole spectrum of human emotion within a single 24-hour period.

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Obligatory end of summer update

Whoa, so I haven’t been around here in, like, forever. I’ve been splitting my time between working on a paper and actually having a social life for the first time in about a year. On Monday it’ll be back to having no life: I start my new job and then after a week of orientation it’s back to school. After taking part in the book discussion group earlier this summer, my professor–who has turned into something of a mentor this past year–gave me permission to sign up for her graduate seminar in Advanced Metaphysics in the fall, which will be focusing on feminist metaphysics this semester. I just got approved for that class on Monday by UNL’s Graduate Studies department, so I dropped my Spinoza class. Here’s the new schedule:

  • Intro to Physical Anthropology
  • Ethical Theory
  • Advanced Metaphysics
  • Fiction Writing
  • Writing Theory for Consultants (job-related)

In addition, I’m still volunteering at the LGBTQA Resource Center, so it should be a pretty busy semester. I’ll probably either end up killing myself or coming out totally prepared for grad school. My Philosophy of Language professor has been helping me with my paper. I’ve decided to write on the reappropriation of the word ‘queer’. Specifically, I want to explore how a word which started its modern life as a pejorative could end up changing connotations due to a conscious effort among
a specific language community. I suspect it has something to do with how much a word is needed to perform a particular job. Professor Dowell sent me some information about a conference coming up in November in Memphis that she said my paper would go over well at, so I think I’ll be submitting it.

Also, I had my almost-three-month hormone check-up on Wednesday. I switched doctors and am now going to Planned Parenthood. The doctor I was seeing at UNMC is more qualified, but it’s just easier to grab a 5-minute bus ride to Planned Parenthood than to venture up to Omaha at the asscrack of dawn, especially with how busy I’ll be this semester. They did more blood tests, and I’ll find out next week if they’re going to do anything with my doses. I have been noticing some significant changes already. The most exciting is that I’ve started developing breasts. They’re painfully sensitive and nearly microscopic, but progress is progress. Also, my body hair has started to diminish and grow more slowly. My skin also seems smoother and generally healthier, but I’m not sure how much of that is the hormones and how much is the fact that I recently started a new skin-care regimen. I’ve also started getting ma’amed a lot on the phone, which is a big plus. And today when I went to the pharmacy to refill my sleeping pills, which are prescribed under my full male name, the pharmacist asked if I was picking them up for someone else, which made me feel good.

Finally, on the dating front, I’ve met a lady whom I think seems like quite the winner. We seem to have quite a bit in common, and she is incredibly sweet and caring. The main problem is that she lives in Omaha and my piece-of-shit car probably isn’t fit to travel the highways. Also, she’s allergic to cats, which could be an issue…

Anyway, I’ll try not to disappear for weeks on end again. I realize that a lot of my friends come here to keep up with what’s going on in my life, which is nice, but I may be kinda busy for a while. I’ll still try to keep you folks posted.