Birthday wish list

So my birthday is coming up on the Friday after this one (June 29th) and I’ve got a few requests of my friends. Fulfilling these requests would make it a very special birthday.

  1. Pictures of fluffy bunny rabbits making use of the phrase “Hoppy Birthday.” Post to Facebook or Twitter.
  2. Someone needs to April Fool’s Day me. It doesn’t need to involve insane murderers or beach houses on remote islands, but it has to be ridiculously complex. Think Rube Goldberg.
  3. A mock epic about Mitt Romney’s battle for the White House.

Simple requests because I’m a simple girl. Get crackin’!

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Big day tomorrow

So first thing’s first: I changed the domain name because I don’t like clunky URLs, so update your bookmarks if you actually still use those (I just use history; not sure if I’m a weirdo, though).

Now onto the excitement! Tomorrow is the big doctor’s appointment to get me some hormones. I’m stoked beyond belief. Really, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to sleep at all tonight. I need to be up at 6:00 tomorrow in order to get there in time.

I understand that hormone replacement therapy is a long, drawn-out process, and it can take months to actually see any benefit, but still, the sooner I get started, the sooner I’ll start to develop more feminine characteristics. I did start hormones once before in 2007 before having to stop because of a severe bout of depression (the doctors say it wasn’t related to the hormones), and I started to notice changes about 6-8 weeks after starting. Mostly it was wicked sore breasts. Like, wicked sore.

I’m not sure what type of estrogen I’ll be on or if there will be an anti-androgen in the mix, but the doctor I saw last December said that she usually used estradiol and spironolactone. I’ve done some digging and there are people who swear by certain types of hormone treatments, but based on my research it all boils down to biology. Different people react differently to different hormones. I’m just going to go by my doctor’s judgment.

Okay, that’s all! Just wanted to keep you posted! Peace out!

Online dating is actually really cool

So, after posting about my initial trial of the online dating world last night, my friend sent me a message on Facebook telling me about this site called Plenty of Fish. She said that it’s where she met her husband and that she’s had a lot of friends who have had success with it. Also, it’s incredibly unrestrictive of its free members, so you can actually meet people and stuff without shelling out ridiculous amounts of cash dollars.

At first, when I saw the site I was skeptical, because the web design is incredibly tacky and looks like something you’d see on Geocities or Tripod circa 2001. However, I gave it a try, and less than 24 hours later I am having incredible success. I’ve been getting a lot of positive feedback from women who don’t care that I’m trans, and I just spent most of the day chatting with a woman who lives here in Lincoln who thinks I’m actually kind of pretty and interesting. I’m really excited because she likes camping, and I have been looking for a new camping buddy. There’s also a musician up in Omaha whom I’m kind of interested in who has shown some interest in me, as well as a filmmaker, so I’ve got some options. Even if it takes me a while to meet the right woman, I’m just really stoked that there are at least people out there who don’t care that I’m trans. Really, I was having second thoughts about my transition, just because I was afraid no one would love me and I’d remain alone for the rest of my life, but now I’m completely recommitted to this transition. Just knowing that there are people who are actually interested in me fills me with enough confidence to make it through this.

One factor that I didn’t take into account was that there are, in fact, bisexual people in the world. Some of the girls who’ve expressed interest in me say they’re bi, and my friend told me that most bisexual people these days identify as pansexual, and now I feel really silly and shitty for completely forgetting that there are people like that in the world. That seems like the way to do it, anyway; I wish I was that evolved.

Anyway, things are going pretty well right now. If you’re lonely and looking for someone to talk to, check out Plenty of Fish. If I can find people interested in me there, I’m sure anyone can.

Entering the terrifying world of online dating

So I’ve officially gotten so desperate that I’ve entered the incredibly terrifying world of online dating. I’ve been single for more than two years now, and at first it was great because I got to have time for me and everything. Now, however, I’m starting to get really meh. I feel like I’ve worked through all my personal stuff and am finally ready for a serious relationship. Really, I thought I could go on indefinitely on my own, but I feel somewhat incomplete. However, it’s hard to meet people at school since I’m at least four years older than most of the people there, which doesn’t seem like much of an age difference, but when you’re in your twenties a four year difference is pretty much a massive generational canyon. I’ll be 26 in a month, and most of the seniors are only 21 or 22–I know one or two who are 23, and that’s about when my adult personality started forming, so that’s getting close. My therapist said it’s actually pretty common to feel disconnected from your fellow students when there’s an age difference of even a few years. For that reason, I opted to try some online dating services.

I started with Pink Cupid, which is subsidiary of Cupid.com aimed at lesbians. They have a free sign-up option where you have limited actions and everything, so I figured that I’d do that just to see if there was anyone in my area. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like anyone uses that service very often, so I don’t think I’ll be upgrading to their paid service.

I then went over to Match.com. They are more restrictive of their free accounts, but there are more people on it, and they also have that six month Match.com Guarantee. However, they’re more expensive. Also, I’m not sure whether their guarantee covers trans folks. I know I shouldn’t be so pessimistic, but something tells me that it’s harder to match a trans lesbian than it is to match a cisgender lesbian. Le sigh…

Well, I’ll think about whether I want to try paying the outrages fees for their “Guarantee.” However, I’m skeptical of the whole online dating thing. It seems kinda weird. However, I’ve found social media to be more fun than I would have guessed, so perhaps my expectations shall be proved wrong. Still, I’m mildly skeptical.

Shameless self-promotion time!

So my friends out there will tell you that I’m a big art buff and like to paint and take pictures and suchlike. It was actually my original dream before I found out I was better at writing (and that writing is easier because writing supplies are cheaper than art and photography supplies). My dream growing up was to be a bigshot photographer for the National Geographic. I still really wish I had followed that career path when I’m between daydreaming of developing video games and aborting attempts at novels simply because my pathological perfectionism makes me think that shitty first drafts are a sign that a work will never amount to anything. Anyway, I know a lot of people don’t know this because I rarely promote it aside from a little link way down at the bottom of this site’s sidebar, but I secretly have a deviantArt profile. I rarely post anything new on there these days because it’s so hard to promote yourself on that site without actually paying for some feature or other, which I don’t want to do unless I’m guaranteed to make my money back, but I just remembered that there are such things as photoblogs. While I don’t want to convert to a dedicated photoblog, I still thought I could use this site to promote my deviantArt profile and Google+ profile, since it seems that Google+ is where all the hip artists are hanging out these days. Anyway, I think I’ll make it a weekly thing, and if I get positive feedback I may start a secondary blog dedicated to my photos. Don’t know what will convince me to do that, since my reward to myself for three semesters of straight As is upgrading this little rinky-dink digs to a real live professional blog (look for the dot-com next Wednesday!), and if I’m doing that I dunno if I want to shell out for a second thingy unless it seems like it will pay out. But still, the very least I can do is get all you lurkers out there (I know you’re there, I get detailed stats here…) to go to my deviantArt site. (Like how I slipped the second link in there? I bet you know what to do…)

Anyway, starting at 9AM tomorrow, I’m doing something I call Fotography Friday (I heart alliteration, as anyone who’s read my poetry knows). I will feature a “new” photo every Friday, an Alice Edwardson original. (And by “new” I mean something that’s been on my deviant art for a few months/years.) I think this will also be good, because once I start my new job in August I’m gonna be putting the money toward hiring some models for a brilliant new philosophically-themed set I got the idea for last month, so I can promote that as well. Also, to make the shameless self-promotion complete, I think I’ll do an early bird special and share the week’s photo early on Google+ for the first couple of weeks. Maybe if I can get some real followers (most of my friends think it’s lame, but I think it combines the best of Facebook and Twitter), I’ll make it permanent. SO! Look me up on deviantArt and Google+ (Alice Edwardson) for previews, and if you like, come back every Friday!

Shameless! Simply shameless!

(P.S. I think I’ll be doing a spotlight on plastic cameras this month and maybe next, since I got a Holga 120CFN last summer for my birthday and despite the fact that it’s only a $50 toy camera I think it does some amazing shit and want to raise awareness for these toy wonders. Plastic!)

This is what happens when asocial trans lesbians go back to school and rediscover the internet

So since my big mental snaffu a few years ago I’ve been hearing a lot of folks throwing this word, “asocial”, around in reference to me. At first I was a little irritated and offended, because I thought “asocial” was like “antisocial” and the only time I ever do anything truly antisocial is when I think that the relevant social norm/custom is anti-humanist. Anyway, I did some research and found out that “asocial” is basically just a fancy clinical word for folks who are pathologically critical of society, which, to me, sounds like it’s actually a good thing. For that reason, I’ve come to embrace the fact that I’m a pathological outsider. Really, it explains a lot about me.

Anyway, part of being asocial is that I never really understood the social media jazz. I’ve had a Facebook account since 2004 (or 2006: the first got deleted for making too many “mean” joke groups so I made a new one), but I’ve never really used it much. Anyway, my thing with friends is I have a few close ones that I deal with all the time, and then a bunch of acquaintances whom I hung out with regularly for a short time before deciding that thy bored me. So, I’ve never really understood the point of Facebook or Twitter or any of that jazz. If I want to know what you’re doing (or vice versa) I can text you or call you. Chances are, I already have a rough idea of what’s happening. Why you need the interweb machines for friend things?

Anyway, my internet horizons were broadened when I went back to school last spring. It started with the porn. You see, I had never really been exposed to pornography until the summer of 2007 when I got a job at a video store that sold it. Before I found out what pornography really was, I thought it was probably just videos of people making sweet, passionate love after a really romantic evening. (No, I’m not kidding; I really thought that’s what porn was like.) Turns out it’s not like that at all. It’s a bunch of sociopaths treating human beings as sub-human pleasure objects and forcing them to do the most ridiculously raunchy things they can imagine. Totally not hot. So, when I went back to school and took Philosophy of Feminism and saw that one of the paper topics was porn, I went crazy on that shit and got me an A. Anyway, part of my research for that paper was surveying internet porn sites, which tipped me off to the fact that there are such things as porn aggregators. Seriously. Google “Darlina.” And on these porn aggregators there is a category called “pizza porn.” Yes, people get of on jamming manly meat parts through the center of a pizza pie. I wish I were making this shit up. Anyway, this made me look at the internet in a whole new light.

Then, last fall, I took a political science class for which part of my participation grade was opening a Twitter account and twitting away about the news. At first I was kind of irritated, because to me this was like requiring students to go to a bar and make small talk with the other drunks, but then I discovered that Twitter is really secretly the world’s greatest news website. Seriously, just follow every new outlet you can find there and you’ll never miss out on what’s happening in the world. Fucking amazing! And then there are all the awesome radical twits. Just twenty minutes ago I discovered that Twisty Faster of I Blame the Patriarchy fame is actually on Twitter now. Now I can get Nobel Prize-worthy radical writings delivered straight to my phone device. Huzzah!

Finally, about a week and a half ago, I discovered that “liking” people and things on Facebook is akin to following them on Twitter, and you can repost whatever they post. This has lead to an orgy of me reposting everything on George Takei’s wall. This shit is fucking awesome! And now, just yesterday, I discovered Google+, which appears to be the new hangout for trendy artists and tech geeks. Totally the coolest of them all. Too bads most of my friends seem to think it’s not the coolest thing since Creepy Crawlers. Oh well, they’ll come around.

Anyway, I guess the point I’m trying to make is that all this social media bullshit might not be total bullshit. It does seem to help people spread news and share opinions. It seems like these sites have replace the Greco-Roman forums (or fora, if y’all wanna be smart about it). The internet really is the greatest invention in the history of inventing.