Online dating is actually really cool

So, after posting about my initial trial of the online dating world last night, my friend sent me a message on Facebook telling me about this site called Plenty of Fish. She said that it’s where she met her husband and that she’s had a lot of friends who have had success with it. Also, it’s incredibly unrestrictive of its free members, so you can actually meet people and stuff without shelling out ridiculous amounts of cash dollars.

At first, when I saw the site I was skeptical, because the web design is incredibly tacky and looks like something you’d see on Geocities or Tripod circa 2001. However, I gave it a try, and less than 24 hours later I am having incredible success. I’ve been getting a lot of positive feedback from women who don’t care that I’m trans, and I just spent most of the day chatting with a woman who lives here in Lincoln who thinks I’m actually kind of pretty and interesting. I’m really excited because she likes camping, and I have been looking for a new camping buddy. There’s also a musician up in Omaha whom I’m kind of interested in who has shown some interest in me, as well as a filmmaker, so I’ve got some options. Even if it takes me a while to meet the right woman, I’m just really stoked that there are at least people out there who don’t care that I’m trans. Really, I was having second thoughts about my transition, just because I was afraid no one would love me and I’d remain alone for the rest of my life, but now I’m completely recommitted to this transition. Just knowing that there are people who are actually interested in me fills me with enough confidence to make it through this.

One factor that I didn’t take into account was that there are, in fact, bisexual people in the world. Some of the girls who’ve expressed interest in me say they’re bi, and my friend told me that most bisexual people these days identify as pansexual, and now I feel really silly and shitty for completely forgetting that there are people like that in the world. That seems like the way to do it, anyway; I wish I was that evolved.

Anyway, things are going pretty well right now. If you’re lonely and looking for someone to talk to, check out Plenty of Fish. If I can find people interested in me there, I’m sure anyone can.

Entering the terrifying world of online dating

So I’ve officially gotten so desperate that I’ve entered the incredibly terrifying world of online dating. I’ve been single for more than two years now, and at first it was great because I got to have time for me and everything. Now, however, I’m starting to get really meh. I feel like I’ve worked through all my personal stuff and am finally ready for a serious relationship. Really, I thought I could go on indefinitely on my own, but I feel somewhat incomplete. However, it’s hard to meet people at school since I’m at least four years older than most of the people there, which doesn’t seem like much of an age difference, but when you’re in your twenties a four year difference is pretty much a massive generational canyon. I’ll be 26 in a month, and most of the seniors are only 21 or 22–I know one or two who are 23, and that’s about when my adult personality started forming, so that’s getting close. My therapist said it’s actually pretty common to feel disconnected from your fellow students when there’s an age difference of even a few years. For that reason, I opted to try some online dating services.

I started with Pink Cupid, which is subsidiary of Cupid.com aimed at lesbians. They have a free sign-up option where you have limited actions and everything, so I figured that I’d do that just to see if there was anyone in my area. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like anyone uses that service very often, so I don’t think I’ll be upgrading to their paid service.

I then went over to Match.com. They are more restrictive of their free accounts, but there are more people on it, and they also have that six month Match.com Guarantee. However, they’re more expensive. Also, I’m not sure whether their guarantee covers trans folks. I know I shouldn’t be so pessimistic, but something tells me that it’s harder to match a trans lesbian than it is to match a cisgender lesbian. Le sigh…

Well, I’ll think about whether I want to try paying the outrages fees for their “Guarantee.” However, I’m skeptical of the whole online dating thing. It seems kinda weird. However, I’ve found social media to be more fun than I would have guessed, so perhaps my expectations shall be proved wrong. Still, I’m mildly skeptical.